flashbacks: march 2017

img_6180It was the first sunny spring day of a year. I was feeling particularly happy; music in the headphones was running loud and I thought that was it – the moment of true happiness. It was indeed.
I captured that was moment very well; I was tasting it like I do it with sweets, slowly, not rushing the moment.
Of course, when I am anxious or panicking, the process gets unpredictably wrong. But it was not that time.
I got a meeting that day, went for a walk abandoning the public transport. Wanted to be outside by myself as long as I can. It was too noisy, that is why I always put the headphones and turn the music on, slightly disappearing from humans radar. It is the connection I value a lot. Music is a powerful tool, especially for me, musician defined by nature. It can make you happy, sad, feeling theĀ strength or can keep you powerless for some time; it is some kind of pain reliever: be careful to use, restrictions apply.
The weather was fine, so was the meeting where I got to know new people and did the things I wanted for so many years. The feeling of relief, when you know everything is under control, but euphoria gets you nonetheless, like a wave of 9 point seastorm. It is the second when you realize you are part of something much more bigger and you’ve never experienced anything like this before. But you want it so bad and it is happening with you. You encounter a new wave of emotions and feelings: happiness, joy, a kind of personal achievement when you realize you’re in.
On the way home, something happened. That sudden feeling of warmness in the chest as if everything that was happening 2 weeks before was an illusion. Seemed like I was in the movie and those magical things were just filming tricks.